The dorms on campus harbor some particularly special places for students to… take care of business. No, not homework. Bathroom business. C’mon guys.
This article is here to answer the question that most Lomans have asked themselves at least once before while living on campus: which dorm has the best bathroom? Well, here are the “official” plunger ratings of some of the best, and some of the worst, dorm bathrooms here on PLNU’s campus.
Finch Residence Hall
First of all, there should be a sign outside these bathrooms that reads, “Height cannot exceed five feet when entering.” Anyone taller might find themselves with bruises covering their knees from squatting down in the three-by-five cubical.
The showers are a whole other beast. Something rather fun about these showers is the cloudy doors. Now, they do hide the person showering (for the most part) but the silhouette of the showering body is easily accessible. Can anyone think of a more awkward way for potty mates to get closer to one another?
Trying to shave in the showers is also a challenge, like trying to do yoga in a cardboard box. One’s behind is absolutely going to feel the chill of the cold, white tiles of this shower during the long, strenuous shave.
Young Residence Hall
Fun fact: Young Hall holds the record for on-campus knockouts by bathroom door. When entering this bathroom, the heavy red doors can pack a punch for the poor soul that is just trying to get into a stall. Helmets should be required in this danger zone of swinging doors and close quarters. Be ready to get real cozy with the person using the bathroom right next to you because down in Young, close proximity is first priority.
Also, when choosing a shower, the bathing cubicle in the center is a vortex that sucks in all of the shampoo and conditioner residue of the neighbor to the right as well as the dirty suds of the body wash of the neighbor to the left. Take caution when bringing in a phone to play some jams while taking a shower. The last person who did found herself fishing for her phone in the wall vent… It wasn’t me…
Hendricks Residence Hall
Wow, what a view. The ocean breeze flowing through these one sink, one stall rooms ushers out the stench of the person who “went” before you. It’s definitely a plus when visiting this bathroom. Another benefit is that these stalls are gender neutral by having not only a regular toilet but also a urinal. So, go ahead girls, use that urinal if you want, but don’t slip. And boys, feel free to get real comfy on that porcelain throne.
Caution: beware of flood season in the Hendricks showers. Too much hair and just the one drain can cause rising water levels leaving one to shower in an inch or two of suds and sand. It’s not quite the same as the beach.
New Nease Residence Hall
Ugh, finally! Luxury is at its finest over in New Nease. The large brown tiles do a great job of hiding any sand, dirt or dried toothpaste that may have found its way to the floor. Entering into this bathroom, the cleanliness can make someone feel that they could even go without shower shoes.
Speaking of showers, the ones here at New Nease have seats…yes, seats. No longer does one have to bend down at an awkward angle to shave legs while water brings waves of acidic soap into the eyes. It’s spacious, smells nice and the stalls are one-size-fits-all.