In light of the passing of Glen Laster, an associate professor of sociology and psychology at PLNU, and Chris Garabedian, a fifth-year accounting major, the concept of wrestling with death and grief is familiar to students at Point Loma Nazarene University. First-year students who once sat in Laster’s PSY 1001 class found themselves temporarily displaced, and students as well as faculty found themselves wondering what they should do to help themselves and others in this time of mourning.
Tim Hall, a PSY 1001 professor and friend of Laster, said that now is the time for students to seek connection with one another. Sharing their emotions and experiences related to grief will help students find understanding and comfort in a time that can feel isolating to some.
“You got to share your grief,” Hall said. “When something happens to me, I have to carry that. The Bible also says, ‘Share your burdens with one another and fulfill the law of Christ.’ So you share it. You got to share it, and then you got to lean on [God] because he sustains you. Give your burdens to him.”
Esteban Trujillo, university chaplain at PLNU, echoed Hall’s sentiments, saying that students should not grieve alone at this time.
“Grief was never meant to be carried in isolation,” Trujillo said in an email interview. “Share what you’re feeling with trusted friends, family members, mentors, pastors, counselors, or professors. Give yourself permission to be honest about what you’re experiencing — whether that is sadness, confusion, anger, numbness or even moments when you don’t know quite what you feel.”
Trujillo said that during this time, he’s encouraging students who are experiencing grief to lean into the resources on campus, such as the morning and evening chapels that have allotted time to have students pause and reflect. He also recommends utilizing the Student Care Office and the Counseling Center.
”When something difficult happens, the instinct can be to keep going — to get to class, finish the assignment, go to practice, and continue with the normal rhythm of life,” Trujillo said. “But grief asks us to slow down and acknowledge that something has happened and that it matters.”
Chapel on Sept. 21, titled “Prayer and Lament Chapel” on the PLNU Chapel YouTube channel, was planned specifically for students to be still and engage in worship and reflection in the then-recent passing of Garabedian. Kirstyn Teegarden, director of Discipleship Ministries and Creative Arts, shared verses from Psalm 62 and Psalm 22. She talked about how these are psalms of lament, crying out to God and praying for his presence.
”That is our prayer today,” Teegarden said. “That we would trust and know that God is here with us, God is present with us, that as we lament we can bring our pain and our grief honestly before God and trust that he is listening to us.”
Hall said that he and Laster had sat down for a meal at Denny’s about a week before his passing. They talked about their retirement plans, and also began to talk about how their faith influences how they see life after death. For Hall, he is firm in his belief that he will reunite with Laster one day in Heaven.
“I do believe in Jesus, and I believe there’s life after death with him, and I believe that there’s life with him while we’re here,” Hall said.
Hall said that if there is a student who is watching another student go through a grieving period, the best thing that they can be in the moment is to be slow to speak.
“At the beginning, less words are better, you know?” Hall said. “Presence is everything, and when words are necessary, use them.”
Trujillo said that students don’t need to find a way to “fix” what their classmates or friends are going through at this time. The only thing they need to be is present and understanding.
“I have learned that there is no single way to grieve. Grief exists because deep love was present,” Trujillo said. “Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is be present and listen.
Grace Chaves 
True Van Dyke