I’m looking for a guy who was wearing a garish plaid flannel on Tuesday, Nov. 11. You attempted to get my attention by whistling at me and using the smooth line, “How’s it goin’?” You were standing with a buddy and you were wearing sunglasses that looked like Ray Bans, but were probably just those plastic ones from a gas station or something.
Since I don’t think my dramatic eye roll was enough, I thought that calling you out this way was a better idea. Think of this as my dating profile for you. In the words of Jessica Day, “I hope you like feminist rants, ‘cause that’s kinda my thing.”
First off, I want to address the fact that you not only catcalled me, but you commented on my body. You leaned over to your friend (who was nearly identical to you, but then again you’re both white guys) and said, “She’s skinny.” Despite being so impressed by how observant you are, I can’t help but be disgusted that you thought it would be cute to (loudly) comment on a female’s body. As much as Caf Lane resembles one, it is not a catwalk for you and your friends to stand and judge every female that crosses your gaze. We’re on our way to class, work or home, and are not okay with you verbally expressing anything you think about our flawless vessels.
You must live under a rock (or watch a lot of Fox News) if you still think that women are even slightly flattered by catcalling. I know, it’s alarming, how could women hate loud displays of attention from males? But you should know that we have come to a point in time where we females are no longer accepting the constant berating of patriarchy during our daily lives.
Kaylie is a senior writing major, a yogini, and a lover of holistic health. She aspires to one day open a yoga studio, live in a treehouse, and have her very own avocado tree.
Grace Chaves 
Noah Shaw