It’s that time of year again! The time of bean dip, tortilla chips, salsa, brightly colored jerseys, big screen TVs and snide remarks made about people you’ve never met. That’s right everyone, this Sunday is the Super Bowl. Now, this will obviously have a different effect on each person. Some of you may cheer on your favorite team or shake your fist at a bad call by the ref, and others of you may just spend your Sunday wishing your boyfriend or girlfriend would just chill the heck out and stop shouting at the T.V.. For those who fall in to the latter category, allow me to suggest a few things to help you pass the time.
Try out those new Snapchat filters
People use Snapchat filters on everything these days. Babies, magazine covers, actors in movies, even their pets. No reason to not see what Tom Brady looks like with puppy dog ears or a flower crown on his head. Don’t forget to post your new and improved football players on your Snapchat stories. Your friends will want to know what Brady would look like if he went to Coachella.
Seriously. I understand that eating out of boredom is not exactly healthy, but Super Bowl parties have some of the best food. So while your boyfriend or girlfriend is in a frenzy in the living room over a fumbled ball, take advantage of the plethora of food sitting in the kitchen. Just don’t eat too much or make yourself sick—you’ll need to feel well enough to cheer when the game is finally over and your S.O. decides to pay attention to you again.
Pick a few of your favorite players (or someone from the opposing team that you don’t like) and assign each of them a theme song. When your hero scores a touchdown or pulls off a tricky play, take that as a sign that it’s time to belt out the “Rocky” theme music. When that miscreant from the opposing team tackles one of your team’s players, let loose with the Darth Vader theme. Ignore the dirty looks you’re all likely to receive from your S.O.s. They’re just jealous that they’re not as fun as you.
Fake ignorance…or embrace it
Few things can drive sports fans up the wall like using the wrong terminology. When you feel things are getting too intense, or too boring, pipe up with your own commentary. When a player scores a touchdown, leap to your feet with your S.O. and declare that the player made an excellent goal. Or, better yet, every time there is a close-up of a player, loudly inquire “Ohhh, is that Peyton Manning?” Whether you know better than that and you’re faking it or you honestly know nothing about football is irrelevant, you need to have some of your own fun.
Mock the Commercials
The commercials during the Super Bowl can be the best part, so make sure you don’t miss out on these. Enjoy the ones you like, but don’t be afraid to poke some fun too. That scantily-clad woman who takes five minutes to take a single bit of a Carl’s Jr. hamburger while lounging on the hood of a car is just asking for it. And when all of those beer commercials come on, feel free to jump up and chant “Naz, naz, naz!” to prove to your family that you remembered you go to school on a dry campus.