25 things PLNU students don’t say

Students have become accustomed to the PLNU troupes, clichés and sayings that surround them at PLNU: Hipster, Ring by Spring and Christianese, to name a couple. We thought it’d be fun to produce a list of things that oppose these cliché sayings. So, for your comedic enjoyment, here is a satirical list of the outrageous phrases that PLNU students would never say.

1. Could you play guitar in the lounge?

mike birbiglia fault

2. I just got the best deal on textbooks!

3. Does anyone here even surf?

Photo courtesy of
Photo courtesy of

4. How do you get to the ocean from here? The Pacific one.

5. I’ve actually never dozed off during chapel.

6. This campus needs more guys who play guitar and longboard!

7. I came to PLNU for the diversity!

8. “This 60:40 ratio is such bogus!” – PLNU males

9. I’m gonna go find a lounge with a couple making out in it so I can properly study.

10. I use what I learned in FYE in my everyday college career!

11. $40K a year and we’re stuck with this horrible view.

Photo courtesy of Yelp / Debie K
Photo courtesy of Yelp / Debie K

12. I’m trying to get that ring by winter.

13. I’ve never heard a PLNU woman utter the phrase, ‘future husband.’

Photo courtesy of Zerve / SFMovieTours
Photo courtesy of Zerve / SFMovieTours

14. I’ve been dying to take Mary Paul on a burrito run!

15. My freshman year roommate and I have lunch once a week!

16. Hey Hall! Who’s down for a burrito run? Cali’s on me!

17. I’m thinking about dating my roommate’s sister.

18. I take 7:25 a.m. classes for the fellowship!

19. Bible study at the tree! Who’s down?

20. I just don’t see enough sunset pictures on Instagram.

21. What’s a cup of yo?

22. Does PLNU even have a nursing program?

23. The Wi-Fi always comes through when I need it most!

24. I mainly came to PLNU for the state-of-the-art gym.

25. San Diego is NOT the greatest city in the history of the world. I’d rather go to college anywhere else.

Dominic Bendinelli, Daniel Heim, and Ronnie Watkins contributed to this listicle.