I Don’t Care About Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day means absolutely nothing. Nope, not a thing. As someone who is perpetually single and has never, not once, been on a date, it’s just another Wednesday in my life, except for the fact that I’m forced to keep seeing couples being obnoxiously “in love” everywhere I look. Most of them have only been dating since the start of the semester, or the start of last week, and they’re everywhere. Under the brown chapel tree, on the steps of The Greek, grossly enjoying a shared drink on sunset deck. It’s couples overload to be honest.

Also, from someone who has never been in a relationship, why does this one day a year make any difference on how someone treats their significant other? It’s because Hershey’s Chocolate, Tiffany Jewelers, and 1-800 Flowers told you that a nice kiss and saying I love you isn’t enough, right? That’s rhetorical, by the way. Valentine’s Day, other than being incredibly annoying for those just trying to get through their life without being forced to buy a carnation, is a corporate cash grab trying to monetize “love.”

Despite being around since the 14th century (with surprisingly little change to its general principle), Valentine’s Day in the modern era has become so commercialized that it has essentially lost all meaning…not that it meant anything in the first place. In order to show your love for someone, you have buy them a giant diamond necklace surrounded by twenty different kinds of chocolate that they’ll never eat, carried by an obnoxiously tiny horse. Why can’t someone get just as starry-eyed about a well-made burrito? At least that will be put to good use. And apparently this “affection” can only be expressed one day out of the entire year, which, if you really love someone, should definitely not be limited to any day of any year.

So really, if you want to celebrate Valentine’s Day, go for it. Fall into that burning ring of fire. It has no bearing on me except for definite annoyance at all the oversized teddy bears and incessant “Oh, you shouldn’t have!” However, if you are too inane with your gift-giving, I have no guarantees that I will be able to resist the urge to dropkick your tiny horse into the ocean.


About the author

Scott Brown

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