It’s that time of year again, the campus is alive with the happy chatter of freshmen.
Old, embittered seniors are on their way out and jaunty freshmen are on their way in.
So here’s what seniors think every time we see a smiling freshmen face:
1. You might be respectably dressed for your 7:30 class holding your organic soy, nonfat chai tea latte, but we know the truth, one day you’re going to be just like us.
2. We are ashamed of how attractive we find your class.
3. And we also want our gym back to have awesome workouts like this:
(and to woo your attractiveness)
4. Inevitably, there is always the fear in the first week of school of getting this question, “So, are you a freshmen or a sophomore?”
5. We secretly really want to be friends with you, and when we are, we like to brag about it.
6. But we know freshmen are using us for our sick rides…
7. We’re okay with it, though, because no one knows how to have a good time like freshmen.
8. All we want is to share the best ways to get out of jury duty.
9. And share delicious food together, so share a guest meal every once in a while and we can get to know each other.