Sports are canceled. Not the Twitter-has-the-receipts kind of canceled, but actually canceled. Since COVID-19 essentially ended every sport for the foreseeable future, athletes and spectators alike mourn the loss of their beloved games. While taking a break from socializing doesn’t seem all that bad, taking a break from sports can hurt the heart for some.
Here are a few substitutes to keep sports-lovers entertained in the meantime. All can be found on your new favorite sports network–YouTube.
Marble Racing
Yes, marble racing. Not to be dramatic, but spectators might be surprised at the adrenaline levels that can result from watching small glass balls roll around an artfully crafted track, complete with exciting real-time commentary.
Cheese Rolling
It’s exactly what it sounds like. That is, if it sounds like a nine-pound Double Gloucester cheese rolled from the top of a hill while competitors pursue it, often rolling down the hill themselves. The first person to reach the bottom wins, and as a prize, the winner gets to take home the cheese (literally).
Zorbing
Picture yourself inside a very large, transparent plastic ball (aka the “orb” in zorbing) racing other zorb athletes on either land or water. For another version of zorbing, players simply run into each other, trying to knock the others down. Clearly, the versatility of this sport is one of its most fascinating features. See the video for the second version of zorbing (which is also how your brain cells may feel after your first few online classes).
Parkour
Parkour is officially defined by the Merriam-Webster dictionary as “the sport of traversing environmental obstacles by running, climbing or leaping rapidly and efficiently.” My personal description is “jumping and running in fancy ways.” Below, see my personal favorite (albeit unofficial) parkour.
Spelling Bees
So maybe this is a bit of a stretch, but nothing is off the table in these desperate times. After all, mental workouts can be just as rigorous as playing sports. Have you ever tried to spell “gobbledegook?” Didn’t think so. I’m sweating just thinking about it. You’re guaranteed to learn some new words and some fun facts. Here’s one to get you started: one of the most commonly misspelled words is “misspell.” And that, folks, is what we like to call karma.
Cade Michaelson 
Luke Mallery