It’s an exciting time for PLNU. Roary, PLNU’s former sea lion mascot, is back, no thanks to those who kept him locked away for years. Who is Roary? How did he get out? Is he here to stay? Does he wear shoes? These are a few of the burning questions on everyone’s mind. The Point Weekly was able to sit down with the infamous sea lion for a glimpse into the inner workings of his complex mind and wonderful spirit. Without further ado, Roary the Sea Lion everybody!
Point Weekly: So Roary, the students want to know, where have you been all this time?
Roary: PLNU had me locked away in a cage behind the arc for a few years—six years to be exact. Six years, four months, 11 days, and two hours…but who’s counting?
PW: How does it feel to be back?
R: Well, I’m not officially back, I broke free, but they don’t want you to know that.
PW: Well, we’re glad you’re back! The students want to get to know you a little better so I’m going to ask you some rapid-fire questions: what’s your favorite kind of pizza?
R: Pizza with anchovies. Fire.
PW: The people want to know, do sea lions wear shoes?
R: Well, I’m technically not a sea lion, I’m a lion of the sea. So, I just mainly rock my paws.
PW: Spotify, SoundCloud or Apple Music?
R: Spotify, fo sho.
PW: Is Spongebob an accurate representation of sea life?
R: Mostly, yeah. Except the burgers down there are, like, really wet. Mr. Krabs is still a chump, though.
PW: How do you feel about Kanye West?
R: He’s whack. I miss the old Kanye.
PW: If you could have a song play every time you entered a room what would it be?
R: “In My Feelings” by Drake. Except Instead of Keke, I would want it to say ‘Roary, do you love me.” The answer is yes; I love all of you.
PW: What’s your favorite Vine?
R: I actually just got caught up on what Vine even is, because I was locked up, so shout out Vine one time, RIP. I would have to say the classic “Step the Frick Up Kyle,” that one will never die.
PW: Favorite cereal?
R: Cap’n Crunch (Crunch Berries, obviously).
PW: Favorite La Croix flavor?
PW: Chief Keef or Six Nine?
R: Chief Keef, no question.
PW: Would you rather fight one cow-sized duck or 50 duck-sized cows?
R: 50 duck-sized cows.
PW: What’s your response to these new sea lions that are trying to take your place (i.e. Salty the sea lion)?
R: The only words I have for them, is they’re going to try to do to you what they did to me, so watch your back.
PW: Anything you’d like to add?
R: It’s hard out here for a lion of the sea. The administration tried to keep me down, but I’m just going to keep rising like the sea. Yeet.