Preparing for the 2024 Election Season: How to Love Those You Disagree With

Assassination attempts and debates that incite biting comments from both sides are some of the topics getting coverage in the news today, as we enter the 2024 presidential election season. But what doesn’t often get covered is the conflict and political debates between friends and roommates on Point Loma Nazarene University’s campus.

According to Jon Huckins, PLNU adjunct professor of New Testament, there is a way PLNU can have healthy conversations around these topics.

“I’ve learned that the Christian tradition gives us tools to be peacemakers and to disagree well,” Huckins said. “St. Francis said we have to ‘seek to understand rather than to be understood,’ and what he’s saying is that we need to be curious people. And as we get curious, we can begin to learn the perspective of the other.”

Disagreements and arguments happen, but acting in violence and hatred is not productive, according to Huckins.

“The point isn’t to get your agenda across or to yell at each other loud enough to be heard,” Huckins said. “That doesn’t work. The first step is a posture of curiosity.”

Huckins offered advice from a Muslim Imam (prayer leader) he met in Jerusalem, who teaches at the Al-Aqsa, Islam’s third most holy site, on what a posture of curiosity can look like. The Imam said, “You need to stop hearing about us and start hearing from us. Share a table with us.”

“I wonder what that means for us as a campus,” Huckins said. “How can we find ways to not just hear about an issue but actually get close and proximate, creating spaces for healthy dialogue and discourse, learning and sharing a table.”

Huckins encouraged students to take the first step toward unity by reading books, articles and interviews from people with different perspectives, viewing it from a lens of curiosity. By doing this, they can get a better perspective on the beliefs of the person they disagree with.

Listening to “the other” is the first important step to finding common ground, according to Amy Nantkes, PLNU professor of political science.

“People have different feelings, not just about politics, but about their beliefs [and] ideological backgrounds based on the experiences they’ve had,” Nantkes said. “I think [it’s important] to recognize where other people’s limits are and listen more than we talk.”

Nantkes finds that it’s easier to demonstrate compassion when you recognize the humanity in another person, and remember that they’re not defined by their political beliefs.

“Respect needs to really be a [two-way] thing,” Nantkes said. “I think it’s actually safe and good to put up boundaries if someone’s absolutely refusing to engage in civil conversation. But if you’re both willing to actually [talk], I recommend [taking a walk].” 

Research shows that if you get outside, in nature and move in sync with someone you’re at odds with, it can de-escalate conflict, Nantkes said.

Katie Hodson, program director for PLNU’s center for justice and reconciliation (CJR), echoed Huckins and Nantkes on how to engage with those you disagree with. 

Hodson said we have to get uncomfortable and learn from different experiences. This could look like reading books from authors with different perspectives from yours or even attending on-campus events.

Despite efforts of researching and learning other perspectives, and having a meal or taking a walk with those you disagree with, students may still disagree with each other. According to Huckins, that’s OK. The most important thing is to recognize the one thing people all have in common: their humanity.

“We have the image of God in us, but we don’t act like it,” Huckins said. “So the question is, what has gotten in the way of seeing the image of God in [your] classmate, neighbor or roommate? Is it an ideology or a politic? A theology or resentment? We have to ask those questions; otherwise, we can’t confront them.”

Hodson encouraged students to see the Imago Dei (image of God) in everyone.

“Approaching every single person with overwhelming love is hard,” Hodson said. “It takes humility and prayer, walking with the Holy Spirit and asking for help when you’re angry or strongly disagree.”

Nantkes emphasized the importance of seeing each other as equals and neighbors.

“We’re all literally each other’s neighbors, whether we’re living on campus [together], or we sit together in [the] classroom or we’re walking the same path on the way to class,” Nantkes said. “I think if we could figure out how to [love each other] here, we would do amazing out in the world.”

Huckins said, “Love doesn’t get even, it gets creative.” 

This could look like non-violent protesting or signing petitions. But more often, it looks like taking a step closer to the people affected most deeply by injustice and those we disagree with, Huckins said. 

“You have to be in it,” Huckins said. “You have to be in relationship, close to the pain and [get] creative with love in the midst of disagreement.”

No matter who you’re at odds with, you don’t have to be enemies with them, according to Huckins.

“I don’t think we’re inherently enemies,” Huckins said. “As we get close, we can choose to see each other first and foremost as fellow humans — brothers and sisters in Christ. We might disagree, but it doesn’t mean that we have to be enemies.”