How being a peer mentor shaped my understanding of disability

Ableism is the prejudice and discrimination targeted toward individuals with disabilities. It is the belief that those with disabilities are inferior to those without disabilities. Ableism is everywhere – it’s in the very air we breathe. It shows up in our tendency to avoid people with disabilities, surround ourselves with able-bodied peers or speak to disabled individuals with a different tone than you would your friends. These interactions are commonplace in our day-to-day lives. We have biases, whether implicit or explicit, toward the disabled community – even if we think we don’t, we can still fall into harmful behavior without even meaning to do so. 

This is why I joined the Peer Mentorship Program. This program offers mentorship for students who request support (whether it be academically, socially or emotionally), and many of these students have disabilities. It was through this program that I had the opportunity to interact with individuals with disabilities directly for the first time. 

I wanted to tackle the stereotypes I have carried with me about disabled individuals for my entire life. It showed up in how I talked to (or didn’t talk to) people with disabilities, and how I spoke about the community as a whole. I thought seeing the world through this lens was normal because everyone else also saw it that way, but once I got to college I realized I had to face these strong feelings head-on. 

I started this program in the first semester of my sophomore year. And I am not going to lie, it was very daunting. I wasn’t sure if I had what it took to be a good leader, and I definitely didn’t think I had what it took to tackle my biases towards disability. But I had so much support and guidance around me, both from my fellow mentors and my professor, that gave me the courage to step into this new place. 

I’ve learned so much from my mentees and fellow mentors. My mentors have taught me how loved you can feel in a community where everyone works together for a common goal. My mentees have taught me patience, empathy and what it means to be a good leader and friend. Every mentor and mentee is seen and has a place in the peer mentor family. 

I used to feel anxious when interacting with others with disabilities. I would tense up and not know what to say, and find myself avoiding situations where I would have to communicate with a disabled individual because I feared the kinds of reactions I might get from peers. 

We are taught by societal norms that being able-bodied is superior compared to those who have various impairments, and that they are a part of a reality that is less than. Being in this program has taught me that these feelings are natural and held by everyone, but it has also allowed me to question my own beliefs and perceive disability as a form of human diversity rather than a limitation. 

There are still obstacles I face as I continue as a peer mentor this semester. I want to be a strong support system for my mentees, and I find myself becoming frustrated if I falter. I have to remind myself that my mentees appreciate my work even if they do not always explicitly state it. I know it in the way they choose to open up or smile at me as I walk down Caf Lane. I know it in their continued commitment to meet with me and be honest about what they’re experiencing. 

It isn’t simple to separate yourself from beliefs you thought were truths about the world. It isn’t easy work, but it’s good work. It’s work that matters and impacts so many people. I’ve impacted the lives of my professors, my mentors and most importantly, my mentees. They now have a good friend, support system and leader to guide them when they may struggle. 

I’m a leader for my mentees to support their growth, but I am also a leader of my own story when it comes to disability awareness. I can be a leader for others who are navigating their own struggles to understand how to talk about the disabled community. 

I recommend anyone interested to join the program. The leader of the program, Denise Necoechea, is an inspiring force that continues to encourage me and others every step of the way. 

If my story resonates with you, you can reach out to Necoechea at DeniseNecoechea@pointloma.edu to learn more about the Peer Mentor Program, or you can contact me at mlasus0022@pointloma.edu if you would like to hear more about my experience.